I’m going to make a slightly controversial post on International Women’s Day—because I’m a woman, and I can. 😛 I want to say that I am the woman I am today because of the women AND the men in my life.

Obviously, as a woman, I look up to other women who are older, wiser, and more experienced than me. They have shaped me in countless ways.

But I also don’t think men have gotten enough credit for how they have shaped me into the woman I am today.

Yes, I have been treated unfairly by men. It’s no secret that I have been assaulted. I was also nearly “pimped out” lol (as my friend in high school put it—I’m laughing at the slang, not the situation, which was deeply damaging) when I was 16 years old. And this happened in a small Canadian town that was supposed to be “safe.”

I have also been treated unfairly by women—talked about behind my back, lied about, and betrayed.

Much to my surprise, the police actually caught the guy. Though he couldn’t go to jail due to a legal technicality, they put a nationwide watch on him. Something did come from it, despite the lie I had believed.

I understand that the word “protect” is cringey for some women—it used to be for me. I thought, “I don’t need anyone to protect me. I can protect myself.” And in some ways, that’s true. I took mandatory self-defense classes at age 14. But the man who pulled over and asked me if I wanted to do a “favor” for him was 33 years old, 6’7”, and 250 pounds (according to the police).

I was 16, 5’3”, and maybe 115 pounds. The reality is that even with self-defense, I don’t think I could have fought him off. I needed protection—whether that was from the Lord, a man, or even a stronger woman. And I believe the Lord protected me that day, too. (Why didn’t He protect me from the other assault? That’s a discussion for another day.)

My brother and my husband are two other men who have shaped me into the woman I am today.

In high school, we usually walked to piano lessons together after school. But on the day the creep pulled up, my brother had soccer practice. We had agreed that I’d go first to our piano lessons, and he’d meet me there later. When he found out what happened, he said, “I am never going to leave you walking alone again.”

These are admirable and heroic words—words that express a desire to protect. Yet, they are also words that men today are sometimes cautioned against saying because it sounds “creepy” or “controlling.” But intent and trust matter. If my dad, brother, or husband—trustworthy men—say something like that, I know they have my best interests at heart.

Georgia has a rich history of heroic women, like Queen Tamar and Saint Nino. Yet, from my interactions with Georgian women, there seems to be an unspoken consensus among men that women belong in the home once they are married.

I want to recognize the men in my life because I haven’t really experienced anyone celebrating “International Men’s Day” (November 19) — and I do understand why. I’ve taken feminist classes. I’ve heard the same teachings and narratives repeated. Some of it, I agree with. As I mentioned, I’ve experienced gender-based injustices both in my culture and in others across the world.

I know men have held the majority of power throughout history. I know that in Bible times, women were often valued less than cattle—when a cow went missing, the reward for finding it was often higher than for finding a missing woman. I have visited strict Muslim countries where women are not as free as they are in Canada or the U.S.

But what I think this narrative often misses is that there were also many men who used their power for good.

Think of William Wilberforce, who fought tirelessly for the abolition of slavery. Or Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who resisted Nazi oppression and spoke out against injustice. Or even the lesser-known men who fought for women’s rights alongside female activists. These stories often get buried under the broader narrative of oppression.

You might think that everyone knows about the heroic men in history because their stories have been ‘overly told.’ Maybe others knew, but I didn’t really. Sure, I heard their names mentioned, but I never truly understood the impact they had on women’s lives. You might think I must have been living under a rock not to know, but the truth is, these names rarely came up in my education. I attended a small secular university in Canada, and in my classes, these men were never really discussed. The narrative was simply: “Women are oppressed, men are not.”

Likewise, there were women in history who had power and used it selfishly—Marie Antoinette, Jezebel, and others. Yet, these aspects of history were rarely mentioned in my classes, which claimed to be about “equality.” When these cases of women were brought up, the narrative I received was, “they were selfish with their power because of men.”

“Equality” involves sharing EQUAL sides of the story, does it not? I digress.

My point is NOT to shame men or women, or even any particular movement. I simply want to acknowledge that BOTH genders matter, and that there are movements and ideologies out there that inadvertantly fail to recognize this truth. I am critiquing *some* of the ideas I was taught in university because I believe that though they were well-intended, they were not always right, and I believe truth is important. (John 8:32, John 14:6, Ephesians 6:14, Ephesians 4:15.)

BOTH genders matter, not because either of us is perfect, but because we are both made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27).

As I mentioned earlier, I have been hurt by women too. And I have been the one to hurt both men and women in my life. One vital virtue that many movements today tend to neglect is the act of forgiveness.

Healing in my life—whether from men or women—has come through forgiveness, both given and received. Of course, we cannot control whether others choose to forgive us. But we CAN choose to forgive for our own sake. It is one of the most freeing things we can do. Forgive, let go, and let God handle the rest.

As a Christian, I believe some things are impossible to forgive without God’s help. So, I encourage you to invite Him in to truly let go.

In the past, I would have felt shame for being a woman, and from the abuse I endured – maybe I would have wished I was a boy. But today, I embrace who God made me to be. And I wouldn’t be here without Him, and without the amazing women AND men in my life.💗